Where does the term
“dating” come from?
1. The Bible NEVER mentions the word "dating".
2. Dating is CULTURAL.
Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating
1. Dating that doesn’t have God at the CENTER
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. - Matthew 6:33
2. Dating that is with a NON-CHRISTIAN
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness. - II Corinthians 6:14
3. Dating that skips the “FRIENDSHIP” stage
Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another. - Romans 12:10
4. Dating that ISOLATES a couple from other vital relationships
For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. - Galatians 5:13
5. Dating that distracts a person from thinking about the FUTURE
Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom for the future. - Proverbs 19:20
6. Dating that has someone trying to OWN the other person
You were bought at a price ; do not become slaves of men. - I Corinthians 7:23
7. Dating that mistakes a PHYSICAL relationship for love
For this is the will, your sanctification: that you should abstain form sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor; not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God. - I Thessalonians 4:3-5
Why Should I Date?
1. Dating helps us to GROW as individuals
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6
2. Dating helps or allows us to contribute to the GROWTH and betterment of another person
And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works. - Hebrews 10:25
3. Dating helps prepare us for the “RIGHT” MARRIAGE partner
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. - Ephesians 5:31
Present choices affect future marriages.
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. - Galatians 6:8-9
What To Avoid In Choosing Your Date
1. The first AVAILABLE syndrome
For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise. - Hebrews 10:36
2. Being fooled by the EXTERNALS
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” - I Samuel 16:7
Setting Standards Before You Go Out
1. Start with setting standards from the BEGINNING
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. - Matthew 6:33
2. Never allow the two of you to be ALONE in a house together or have “DEAD TIME” on your date
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. - I Peter 5:8
3. PRAY before and at the end of each date
Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. - Mark 14:38
5. DRESS in a way that encourages your date to treat you with respect
Abstain from all appearance of evil - I Thessalonians 5:22
6. Don’t COMPROMISE any of your standards to make them happy
But Peter and the other apostles answered and said, “ We ought to obey God rather than men.” - Acts 5:29
Why Should I Set Standards
1. Setting standards shows that GOD is important in your life
Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” - Matthew 22:37
2. Setting standards shows that your future SPOUSE is important in your life
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. - Ephesians 5 31
3. Setting standards shows that you care about YOUR OWN life
Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are. - I Corinthians 3:16-17
One Last Thought
God wants us to HONOR Him in every area of our lives, including our dating lives. One way to do that is through setting STANDARDS and then sticking to those standards.
-Randy Harp-
